Depersonalisation

Depersonalisation is a condition characterised by a real sense of detachment – both from yourself and from reality. For those who experience it, depersonalisation feels like living life from a distance, as though they’re watching themselves from above, or through the lens of a camera, or a window. This sense of disconnection can be isolating and alienating. In his book, Life on Autopilot, Joe Perkins explores his experience of this condition, from its impact on daily life to practical strategies for coping with it. He also warns of lack of awareness of the condition and the delay in getting help for it.

What is Depersonalisation?

Depersonalisation is a dissociative experience where individuals feel disconnected from their own body, thoughts, or feelings. People often describe it as an “out-of-body” experience, where they observe themselves as if they were an external witness. Perkins uses the analogy of watching life unfold through a camera lens, where everything is slightly distorted, making it challenging to genuinely engage with the world. This detachment isn’t just a fleeting feeling: it can fluctuate in intensity or can be a persistent state, making everyday interactions and activities feel robotic, almost like living on “autopilot.”

The Experience of Depersonalisation

Depersonalisation is not simply an inconvenience. Imagine walking through your day while feeling as though you’re floating slightly above yourself, watching your actions unfold in real-time but feeling no real connection to them. This experience causes confusion and anxiety, as sufferers question the reality of their emotions and their sense of identity. 

In Life on Autopilot, Perkins illustrates this feeling vividly. He describes moments where his actions seemed detached from any real intention or feeling, as if he were watching himself on a TV screen, like being a character in a video game, where your body moves and speaks, but your mind feels somewhere else entirely.

How Depersonalisation Develops

Depersonalisation can be triggered by various factors, often as a response to overwhelming stress, trauma, or anxiety. For some, it may be a single, traumatic experience; for others, it might be a build-up of chronic stress. Biological factors, such as irregularities in the brain’s response to stress, also play a role. The mind essentially attempts to “detach” from reality as a way of coping, but this defence mechanism can become maladaptive, persisting even in the absence of immediate threat. To a certain extent, it can become an automated response to stress, much as in Pavlov’s studies of classical conditioning where dogs salivated when they heard a bell ring, expecting food to arrive.

Perkins explains that this detachment can often start gradually, slipping into daily life unnoticed until the individual realises, they are no longer connecting with their emotions or experiences as they once did. This gradual build-up often creates confusion and isolation, with sufferers feeling as though they’re losing themselves and living life as a distant observer.

Therapeutic Approaches to Treating Depersonalisation

While depersonalisation can be very unsettling, several therapeutic approaches can help people re-establish a sense of self and connection to reality. These therapies aim to address both the symptoms and underlying triggers of depersonalisation, offering sufferers tools to gradually dismantle the feeling of detachment.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

ACT is particularly helpful for depersonalisation because it teaches individuals to accept their feelings, rather than fighting against them. ACT operates on the principle that struggling to control or avoid unpleasant feelings often exacerbates the symptoms. In the context of depersonalisation, this is especially relevant, as sufferers frequently try to “snap out of it” or resist the feeling of detachment.

ACT encourages individuals to observe their depersonalisation experiences without judgment, which can help reduce the intensity of these sensations. By focusing on the present and realigning actions with personal values, ACT helps sufferers build a sense of meaning and direction, gradually loosening the grip of detachment. Perkins emphasises that this acceptance-based approach allows individuals to rebuild their relationship with themselves and reality, one step at a time.

Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy (CBT)

CBT focuses on identifying and altering negative thought patterns, which can be particularly helpful for individuals experiencing depersonalisation due to anxiety. By challenging the thought patterns that contribute to detachment, sufferers can begin to reframe their perceptions and regain a sense of control.

Mindfulness-Based Therapies

Mindfulness techniques are central to reconnecting with the present moment, essential for individuals with depersonalisation. By practicing mindfulness, sufferers learn to observe their thoughts and feelings without judgment, fostering a sense of groundedness that is often lost in depersonalisation. 

In Life on Autopilot, Perkins explains that mindfulness helped him focus on physical sensations as a way to return to his body, dispelling the “floating” sensation he often felt. Techniques like body scanning, meditation, and focused breathing exercises are practical tools for individuals to reconnect with themselves and reduce the sense of being “outside” their bodies.

Moving Toward Reconnection

Recovery from depersonalisation is not an instant process. Life on Autopilot shows that it is a journey of small, mindful steps. Through therapy and self-compassion, you can regain a sense of reality, moving from a life viewed through a lens to one lived directly.

For anyone grappling with depersonalisation, it’s important to recognise that help is available. Therapeutic approaches like ACT, CBT and mindfulness offer tangible paths forward. By using these tools, individuals can begin to turn off “autopilot” and, once again, engage with life directly.