EMDR: A Guide for Clients
As a therapist who completed Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) training back in 2006, I’ve seen first-hand how effective EMDR can be for clients, offering relief from trauma, even where other therapies have not worked well. EMDR has been described as like traveling through a dark tunnel; the journey can feel distressing, disorienting, and unsettling at first, but you emerge on the other side with more clarity and relief from the symptoms of “stuck” traumas.
What is EMDR?
EMDR is a therapy designed to help people process traumatic memories. It’s based on the idea that when we experience something deeply distressing, the memory of that event can get “stuck” in the brain, remaining as vivid and painful as when it first happened. These memories repeatedly flash up at unexpected moments, triggering emotional distress long after the event is over. Such memories have been likened to being a file that has never been put into the filing cabinet of “old memories”, making it seem as though the threat is still there.
The core of EMDR involves using bilateral stimulation- usually eye movements guided by the therapist, though I use buzzers that are held in each hand, to help the brain reprocess these stuck memories in a way that reduces their intensity. The core concept is that all incoming information is initially processed by the brain’s 'alarm' centre on the right side, which warns us when to flee or fight in response to danger. Under normal circumstances, memories are transferred to the logical left side of the brain for further processing. However, traumatic memories can become 'stuck,' continually triggering the alarm. In EMDR, we begin with the most distressing point of the traumatic memory and work to reprocess it while engaging both sides of the brain."
While it sounds odd and unlikely as an effective therapy – or at least that’s what I thought before I did my training - the results can be truly remarkable. Over time with EMDR, memories lose their power to cause emotional pain, allowing us to move forward with our lives without constantly being pulled back into the trauma.
Who Can Benefit from EMDR?
EMDR can be helpful for people dealing with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), anxiety, depression, grief, and even complex trauma. While some clients describe feeling free from long-standing traumas after just a few sessions, it’s important to note that EMDR doesn’t work for everyone. For those it does help, the impact can be life-changing, stopping memories from flashing up unexpectedly and from feeling just as raw as they did at the time of the trauma. EMDR enables clients to remember these events without reliving them in a way that’s overwhelming.
Personal Reflections: Terry Waite and Sally Dowler
As therapists, we will always learn most from the people we see and from their experiences. I am still learning every day. In 2014, I attended the 15th EMDR European Conference in Edinburgh where Sally Dowler and Sir Terry Waite were keynote speakers. I have never forgotten what they said.
Sally Dowler
Sally Dowler was the mother of Milly, who was murdered when only 13 years old, by a man who was not convicted of her murder until 2011. At the conference, Sally explained that she went through over ten years of therapy but that nothing worked, other than running on a treadmill, which gave her some form of release. She then explained that, on seeing a psychiatrist one day, she thought he’d recommended electroconvulsive therapy (ECT). In fact, it was EMDR.
In her keynote speech at the conference, Sally talked about her experience of EMDR therapy, ending by saying, “It gave me back my life. You don’t have the right not to offer it.” Her words have stayed with me ever since.
For more on Sally’s journey, and that of her daughter, Gemma, who also had EMDR, please read: https://emdrassociation.org.uk/media/milly-dowler/
Sir Terry Waite
Sir Terry Waite is a human rights activist, knighted in 2023. He was held hostage in Lebanon for almost five years between 1987 and 1991. During his captivity, he was chained to a wall and kept in solitary confinement for nearly four years. In his keynote speech, after Sally Dowler had spoken, he humbly said that he could not match her speech and suggested we take a coffee break early! He then described his journey and the mental strength needed to survive. He also described how trauma lingers, even for those with immense inner strength.
More recently, as a patron of EMDR UK, he said “I am delighted to support the EMDR Association UK and raise awareness of this wonderful, often life-saving, and most effective of therapeutic treatments….there are many people with this debilitating and life-threatening condition, who could be helped if they knew about EMDR therapy.”
EMDR: A Tunnel to the Other Side
In therapy, we often talk about the importance of “moving through” rather than “avoiding” emotional pain. For those considering EMDR, the process can feel like stepping into a dark tunnel filled with memories and emotions that you’ve been avoiding for years. However, while EMDR won’t erase the events of the past, it changes the way you experience them. The intensity fades - and you’re no longer stuck in the quicksand of traumatic memories. For many clients, this means no longer being haunted by intrusive thoughts or flashbacks, and no longer feeling trapped by the weight of past experiences.
Is EMDR Right for You?
If you’re considering therapy and wondering if EMDR could help, the best place to start is by having a conversation with your therapist. We can discuss whether EMDR might be an effective approach for your specific needs. For some, EMDR provides the tools to not only process past pain, but to move beyond it. EMDR may not be the right fit for everyone. However, for those it does help, it can be nothing short of transformative, as I have learnt from many of the clients who have undergone it in the 18 years since qualifying in EMDR – and from Sally Dowler and Terry Waite who were generous enough to share their stories publicly.