The Power of Comparison: How Envy and Jealousy Shape Our Perception Through the Lens of Barbie

Comparison has long been a fundamental aspect of human evolution. Our ancestors used it as a survival tool. When they faced challenges, such as the cold or a lack of food, they would compare their current state to an ideal situation, prompting innovation. This ability to identify problems and seek solutions contributed to our survival. However, while comparison once had an evolutionary advantage, in the modern world, it has taken a less productive turn.

The Evolutionary Function of Comparison

Historically, comparison had a clear purpose: it pushed us to survive and improve. Primitive humans who could assess a situation and identify a need, such as the need for warmth or food, had a higher chance of survival. They could innovate—building tools or fires to meet their needs—and these skills were passed on through genetics and shared knowledge. This constant evolution toward improvement is, in essence, the function of comparison.

But today, we aren't comparing ourselves to immediate life-or-death circumstances. Instead, we compare ourselves to people on social media, often leading to self-criticism, envy, or jealousy. This shift has turned what was once a survival mechanism into something that chips away at our mental well-being, rather than improving our lives.

Envy, Jealousy, and Their Role in Modern Comparison

Envy and jealousy are two emotions that often emerge from the act of comparison, especially in the age of Instagram and TikTok. Envy arises when we desire something that someone else has, whether it's an attribute, possession, or lifestyle. Contrary to common belief, envy doesn’t always involve resentment. In fact, it can stem from admiration or desire. For instance, you might envy the seemingly flawless life of an Instagram influencer—not because you resent them but because you wish you had what they seem to have.

In contrast, jealousy is about guarding something we feel we possess or preventing someone else from having it. It fuels the action of tearing others down to protect our own sense of worth. This emotion is often linked to toxic online behaviors, such as trolling or cancel culture, where people actively try to undermine others to feel better about themselves.

The Barbie movie offers a unique reflection of this phenomenon. Barbie's world, much like the polished lives we see on social media, initially appears perfect. Everything is shiny, beautiful, and seemingly flawless. However, as the movie progresses, Barbie learns that this constant striving for perfection isn't sustainable. Perfection is a mirage—it doesn’t exist in the real world. And if she wants to truly be herself, she must let go of the pressure to be "perfect Barbie" and instead embrace the reality of being a human, “ordinary” Barbie.

Comparison in the Age of Social Media: The "Compare and Despair" Loop

In the digital age, social media amplifies the negative effects of comparison. We find ourselves endlessly scrolling through curated lives, filtered photos, and edited realities. This often leads to what psychologists call the "compare and despair" loop. We compare ourselves to these highly edited versions of others and inevitably feel inadequate. The gap between our real selves and the idealised versions we see online becomes a source of pain.

For example, imagine scrolling through Instagram and feeling a pang of jealousy as you see an influencer’s perfect beach body, luxurious holiday, or designer lifestyle. This triggers a negative emotional response, leaving you feeling "less than." But why do we feel this way? It’s often because our critical inner voice—sometimes originating from childhood experiences, like a parent’s high expectations—tells us that we aren’t good enough as we are. So, instead of seeing the influencer's life as simply different, we see it as better, and ourselves as inferior.

Therapeutically, moving past this stage involves three key steps: awareness, insight, and change. First, we need to become aware of the fact that we’re feeling triggered by these comparisons. Then, we need to gain insight into why we feel this way. Often, it stems from beliefs that our worth is tied to an idealised version of ourselves. Finally, we must make active changes—like focusing on building meaningful relationships or recognizing the strengths of our real selves—to break the unhealthy cycle of comparison.

Barbie: A Reflection of Social Media's 2D Reality

Barbie serves as a useful metaphor for how we engage with comparison today. Just as Barbie's world is perfect and idealised, much like the curated lives on social media, the real world in the movie is far from this fantasy. The "Barbie" we aspire to be is a 2D character, much like the influencers we follow online, not really real. In striving to be like these seemingly perfect individuals, we risk feeling "less than," just as Barbie does when she realises the pressure to be perfect is too much. We can end up feeling like “depression barbie”.

In the movie, Barbie comes to understand that her real value isn’t in being the "perfect girl," but in embracing her flaws and imperfections. This is a key lesson in combatting the negative effects of comparison. Instead of striving to be something we’re not—an unattainable idealised version of ourselves—we should focus on embracing who we actually are. Just as Barbie lets go of the fantasy world to live in the real one, we need to stop comparing ourselves to the 2D characters on social media and focus on building self-worth from within.

Shifting Comparison from Negative to Positive

Judgment and comparison can serve a valuable purpose when used properly. The ability to discern, evaluate, and make comparisons helps us grow and improve. But it goes wrong when it's driven by feelings of envy and jealousy.  When comparison is used as a tool for self-reflection and growth, it can motivate us to better ourselves without resenting others.

However, when comparison is rooted in a need to feel better than others, or to “keep up” with how we perceive others, it often results in jealousy and envy. This is where social media can become dangerous. Instead of lifting ourselves up, we pull others down, which manifests in negative online behavior like trolling or cancel culture. At its worst, this comparison doesn’t just damage our self-esteem—it damages our ability to connect with and support others.

By shifting comparison from a place of envy or jealousy toward a place of self-reflection and growth, we can move forward. Instead of trying to be like "Barbie" or the idealised influencers we see on social media, we should focus on cultivating our own sense of self-worth and embracing the ordinary, yet equally valuable, aspects of our lives.

In the end, just as Barbie learns to let go of perfection, we too need to let go of an unhealthy pressure to compare ourselves to others in a way that makes us feel inadequate. By focusing on our real selves, and moving away from idealised versions of others, we can reclaim comparison as a tool for growth, rather than as a source of despair.