Suicide, suicidal thoughts and Self-Harm
In an act of extraordinary courage and generosity, the diaries of a 14-year-old girl were offered to our psychology practice. Her parents desperately wanted to try to understand what had happened. Their eldest daughter Jasmine had died by suicide. The horror that lurked behind their seemingly normal daughter’s appearance had been well disguised. No one had seen any signs - family, friends nor schoolteachers.
In Jasmine’s memory, her family have now created the Jasmine Foundation, to try to help those caught in the silent whirlpool of suicidal thoughts. These thoughts can sometimes lead to self-harm; and sometimes the first and only sign of self-harm is death. Through analysis of the diaries, what became apparent was the descent of a bright, artistic, funny, and exceptionally loved, young girl into a fog where she could no longer see her loved ones, her friends, her future - or even herself.
A Silent Descent
Jasmine’s diary reveals the insidious nature of depression, where each negative thought spirals, pulling a person into despair, like being trapped in a whirlpool. Suicidal thoughts and self-harm can be as addictive as they are destructive, becoming a relentless cycle that overwhelms and isolates. Like the Dementors in Harry Potter, these thoughts suck away hope and happiness. For Jasmine, these feelings became an endless loop, contained silently within her mind. For others with suicidal ideation, self-harm can give temporary distraction and relief, but ultimately reinforces pain and a sense of worthlessness.
The University College London’s (UCL) study “The mental health of 17-year-olds in the UK” , which included data from nearly 19,000 teenagers, confirms that Jasmine’s struggles are shockingly common. Their analysis found that that approximately 25% of 17-year-olds in the UK now self-harm. More concerningly, estimates suggest that, by age 17, one in ten females have self-harmed with suicidal intent. Like Jasmine, these thoughts - symptoms of depression - often go unnoticed, even when they result in risky behaviours, self-harm, and, in some cases, suicide attempts. This data from UCL exposes the critical need for intervention, resources, and awareness around mental health issues among teenagers. This is no different for children and adults caught in the whirlpool of suicidal thoughts.
The Descent into the Fog
When suicidal ideation becomes unbearable, sufferers liken it to being caught in fog. For Jasmine, her diary shows a mind that became increasingly detached from reality. She couldn’t see those who loved her and couldn’t feel the warmth of their support. This fog, familiar to so many who suffer from depression, is extremely isolating, obscuring reality and distorting one’s sense of self. It creates a space where hope is lost and the way out can become catastrophic.
When depression reaches this critical point, as Jasmine’s diaries showed, it can leave you feeling irritated with friends and family, detached from your surroundings, and you can feel an overwhelming sense of discontentment – as though people around you would be better off if you no longer existed.
For those who can find a way – any way at all – to express how they feel, emotional support and therapy can help lead them a place where they see things differently and can reclaim their mind back from the dementors of depression.
Therapy: A Bridge Back to Life
While depression and suicidal thoughts often feel insurmountable, therapy can offer a lifeline. Therapists can help patients untangle their thoughts, addressing the underlying emotional turmoil and teaching techniques to manage overwhelming feelings.
Jasmine’s diary shows glimpses of hope, but other points of real confusion – in the end, she didn’t know how to reach out. For those still caught in suicidal thoughts, while they can be relentless, therapy can offer coping strategies to help fight them. If you can find any way to speak out, emotional support and therapy can provide you with a safe space to voice your pain and get support.
Sometimes, therapy comes in the form of something as simple as a pet’s unconditional love. One client I saw recently, who had endured a horrific suicide attempt and months in hospital for treatment of his physical injuries, credits our therapet Paddy, the friendliest collie ever, with being central to his recovery. On his first session, he let Paddy up onto the sofa to sit with him. From there, every session, Paddy would cuddle in beside him, head on his lap looking up adoringly. Paddy’s warmth and friendliness, it seems, acted like an antidote to the dementors. This client is, for now at least, free from suicidal thoughts and was happy for me to share this story – he returned to his studies and is now working in a field that he really loves. The dementors do not always win, no matter how terrifying they are.
Lessons from Jasmine’s Diary
As Jasmine’s diary unfolded, it revealed the gradual emergence of depression. It began subtly but grew stronger - feelings of irritability, detachment, and a sense of emptiness that increased as she drew closer to her death, only one week before her fifteenth birthday. This disconnection from friends, family, and reality was not something obvious; it grew incrementally over time. Some of the final words in Jasmine’s diary: “My feelings are a mess; they have sort of dissolved. I don't really care anymore”.
Jasmine’s family hopes that by sharing her story so generously, others might recognise these signs in their loved ones, or in themselves, and shout out for help in any way they possibly can.
Resources and Support
The Jasmine Foundation exists to help others in Jasmine’s memory. For anyone experiencing suicidal ideation or self-harm, there are numerous resources and supportive organisations ready to listen and provide help – all can be found on the Jasmine Foundation website: www.jasminefoundation.org.
For further reading and personal stories of resilience, books like Kevin Hines’s Cracked, Not Broken: Surviving and Thriving After a Suicide Attempt offer insight and hope. These personal stories remind us that there is life beyond the fog - that even when it feels impossible, recovery is achievable.
Conclusion: A Call to Action in Memory of Jasmine
Jasmine’s family has bravely and generously shared her story, hoping to reach others struggling with depression and suicidal ideation. Her diaries show the gradual but devastating impact of untreated mental illness - a slow disconnect from life.
By shining a light on Jasmine’s story, her family wants to bring awareness, encouraging early intervention and reminding others that even in the deepest depths, there are paths to recovery. While the path to recovery can be challenging, with the right support, individuals can regain control of their mind back from the dementors of depression and see a positive future.
If you or someone you know is struggling, reach out, speak up, and find the support that is needed.