Bullying: Protecting Your Mental Health When It Doesn’t Stop

Bullying is a problem that too many people experience at some point in their lives, whether in childhood, adolescence, or even adulthood. It can be undermining comments, exclusion, physical aggression, or online harassment. Sadly, no age group, social class, or professional background is immune. And while schools, parents, and authorities work hard to prevent bullying, it’s crucial to recognise that sometimes it persists despite all efforts.

This is why learning how to protect your mental health, no matter what goes on around you, is essential. Bullying is like a dripping tap - each individual snide remark may seem small on its own. But just as a single drip of water can fill a basin over time, constant bullying can have a huge impact on mental health. Managing that “drip” before it turns into a flood is key.

1. Recognising the Bully’s Behaviour is About Them, Not You

One of the hardest lessons to learn is that bullying says far more about the bully than it does about the target. When someone undermines you, it’s often a reflection of their insecurities, anger, or desire for control. You are not the problem.

It’s important to avoid personalising the bully’s actions. This doesn’t mean ignoring your feelings, but understanding that their cruelty is about their own issues. A bully’s attempt to tear someone down reflects their inability to manage their own feelings, relationships, or frustrations.

2. Famous Examples: Strength in Adversity

History is full of people who’ve faced bullying in its different ways but have gone on to lead amazing lives. Here are a few examples:

Hidden Figures: tells the story of three African-American women - Katherine Johnson, Dorothy Vaughan, and Mary Jackson - who worked as mathematicians and engineers at NASA, facing intense racism and sexism in the 1960s workplace. They were excluded from meetings, denied promotion, and made to feel inferior because of their race and gender. Yet, their contributions were critical in getting Americans into space and, eventually, onto the moon. Despite the bullying they faced, they persevered, making their mark on history.

Malala Yousafzai: was subjected to violent oppression simply for advocating for girls’ education in Pakistan. After being shot by the Taliban, she became a symbol of resistance against bullying and gender discrimination, winning the Nobel Peace Prize.

Elliot Page, a well-known actor, faced bullying in the form of homophobia and transphobia throughout his career. Page has continued to advocate for LGBTQ+ rights, maintaining a strong sense of self.

These individuals show that despite bullying, they managed to remain focused on their goals and succeed in achieving them, learning to navigate the negativity around them.

3. Techniques to Manage the Emotional Impact of Bullying

While it may not always be possible to stop the bullying immediately, there are practical steps you can take to lessen its impact on your mental health. Here are a few strategies that can help:

• Talk to Someone: Whether it’s a parent, teacher, therapist, or trusted friend, talking about what’s happening can make a huge difference. Keeping your feelings bottled up can make the experience feel more isolating. Talking helps you feel supported and allows others to help find solutions.

• Set Boundaries: If the bullying happens in a specific context, like school or social media, setting boundaries can help protect your mental space. This could mean limiting time with certain people or choosing when and where to engage with others online. It’s okay to step back to take care of yourself.

• Practice Self-Compassion: It’s important to treat yourself with kindness, even when others don’t. Remind yourself that you are worthwhile and deserve respect. Take time to engage in activities that make you feel good, whether that’s a hobby, sport, or simply spending time with people who act like radiators, rather than drains.

• Focus on Strengths: When bullying threatens to wreck your confidence, focusing on your strengths can help rebuild self-esteem. Write down your positive traits and keep these as reminders to counteract the negativity from the bullying.

• Therapy helps challenge negative thoughts (cognitive behavioural therapy), improve emotional support mechanisms (interpersonal therapy) and focus on accepting the situation, turning your focus onto things you can control (acceptance and commitment therapy), like the famous examples above. Therapy is not about fixing you - because there’s nothing wrong with you - but about giving you the skills to deal with difficult experiences like bullying. Building resilience is not about becoming immune to hurt, but learning how to process it, deal with it, and move forward. Everyone deserves to feel safe and respected, but when that isn’t the reality, focusing on your own mental health becomes the most powerful way to protect yourself.
  

  Conclusion

  While it’s horrible that bullying persists in many environments, recognising that it’s not your fault is the first step to taking back control. It can feel overwhelming, especially if the bullying doesn’t stop, but there are ways to manage its impact. By developing healthy coping mechanisms, you can preserve your self-worth and thrive despite bullying. All the famous examples above show that perseverance provides a great example of strength in adversity.