Prioritisation: If You Could Keep one Thing In Life

I often see clients who come to their initial session feeling anxious, depressed and completely drained. One of the most frequent questions I ask is “if you could keep one thing in life, what would it be?” They often answer that their one thing would be family or children, or financial security, or other people’s approval. Unfortunately, all too often, in thinking about the one thing that is most important to them, they neglect the fundamental one - their health.

Over time, I’ve come to realise that prioritising both mental and physical health is not just important; it’s essential. Without health, none of the things we work so hard for really matter. We can’t enjoy anything if we are not mentally well. Yet, for so many of us, prioritising health feels like an indulgence rather than a necessity. And it’s really not.

The Cost of Prioritising Everything but Yourself

I’ve observed clients who are driven by a variety of external motivators:

Work and Career: The temptation of professional success often blinds us to the toll it can take on our mental health. Endless hours and a culture of overachievement can lead to exhaustion and severe anxiety. I’ve talked with clients who believed they had to answer every call and meet every demand - until they suffered burnout. The warning signs were there, but their focus on others left them ignoring their own needs. One client I remember had pushed himself relentlessly, believing that his next promotion would finally leave him feeling like he’d achieved enough. When he collapsed at work, he realised that, without health, achievements lose their appeal.

People-Pleasing and Family Obligation: Many of my clients are other-oriented by nature, whether towards their  children, aging parents, friends, or work. But over-generosity can be dangerous. On the surface, it appears kind and altruistic but, when left unchecked, it can drain us, causing increasing anxiety and resentment. I’ve worked with mothers who felt it was selfish to take an hour for themselves, only to end up too burnt out to actually enjoy being with their children at all.  It’s important to remember that, just as you are told to put on your own oxygen mask first on an airplane, the same principle applies to life. If you are not taking care of your own needs, your will struggle to breathe.

Keeping Up with the Joneses: It’s easy to be swept up by societal pressure. I’ve seen clients push themselves into unhealthy lifestyles to maintain appearances or to meet unrealistic goals – often at the cost of their mental health and enjoyment of life. The constant striving for more – be it money, status, or material possessions – can leave people struggling with depression, fatigue, and a loss of purpose.

The Consequences of Ignoring Self-Care

The costs of putting health last are huge. Chronic stress has proven links to conditions such as hypertension, cardiovascular disease, and a compromised immune system. Mentally, neglecting self-care manifests as heightened anxiety, depression, and irritability. Many of my clients come to me when they’ve reached a breaking point – their relationships are strained, work feels unmanageable, and they no longer enjoy life - or recognise themselves in the mirror.

Why Water Stops Matter

Just as a marathon runner needs to take water breaks to stay hydrated and maintain energy, we need to build moments to look after ourselves and our mental health. Skipping these “water stops” may seem like a way to save time but only leads to us feeling exhausted well before the race is over.

To prevent this,  we need to set boundaries– learning to say “no” and understanding that this is not lazy or selfish – it’s necessary to keep functioning. Remembering that taking an hour to read, walk, or simply relax in a chair isn’t selfish; it’s self-preservation. Doing this enables us to be more patient and more effective in our roles.

Prioritising Health

Physical health and mental health are intrinsically linked. Neglecting one often leads to consequences in the other. My advice is for:

Exercise: Regular movement has been shown to not only strengthen the body but also improve mood, reduce anxiety, and boost overall energy levels.

Use Stress Reduction Techniques: Mindfulness, meditation, and even simple breathing exercises can reduce stress levels. Taking even five minutes a day to pause and reflect can have real effects on mental health.

Maintain a Balanced Diet and Sleep Schedule: Proper nutrition fuels the body and mind, while neglecting sleep is one of the fastest ways to compromise our mental and physical health.

Build Sustainable Habits: It’s not about a dramatic change - but whether it’s yoga or walking, taking breaks from screens and social media, spending some time doing things for pure enjoyment – the important thing is to take some time for yourself.

Conclusion

There is a real myth that taking care of yourself is selfish. In fact, it’s self- protective. When you stay mentally healthy, you have more to give – not just to your work and relationships, but to yourself. By prioritising health, we ensure that we retain the ability to truly enjoy life. So, take those water stops, give yourself permission to rest, and remember: only when you care for your health can you really enjoy all the other things that matter to you.